Not rising to the occasion.

I am SO tired of second guessing myself. 

I am so tired of folding under pressure. 

Not following through. 

I am tired of messing up and then beating myself up. 

I am tired of having a small grasp on greatness and then letting it go, simply because.....

...well...

...I don't know why. 

I honestly couldn't tell you.

Habit maybe?

Because I don't like myself? 

Maybe it's cause I don't trust myself? 

I mean, if history tells us anything, Kayla screw's up a lot. 

So why can't I step up to the occasion? 

Why can't I look at the opportunity dead in the eyes, and refuse surrender or defeat??

I am not the type of person that surrenders easily. 

But I do when an opportunity arises that allows me to be the best "me" that I can be. 

CORNY!!!!

But seriously. 

The second I have an opportunity to show the great part of me...

....I buckle. 

Hard. 

And then I beat myself for buckling. 

Then I beat myself up for beating myself up.

It's a vicious cycle.  

As you've guessed, if you have read my previous posts, I don't ever have answers. 

That's okay.

Tomorrow is a new day! 

I get another opportunity to be the best version of me. 

So let's go. 

Bring it life. 

Mistakes and all.