Occasionally(Always) Christians need Feminism

I was inspired by a discussion today about what it means to belong.

We all desire to belong.

Some of us(me) spend our whole lives searching for where we belong.

Some of us(not me) just are naturally good at knowing where they belong.

I used the example of a puzzle piece, simply put, we were built to connect to another piece.

Rob Bell has these videos called Nooma, and in one of his videos he talks about the significance of breath.

He talks about how the word used in Genesis to say that God "breathed life into mankind" is the same word in the hebrew language used for the Holy Spirit.

Meaning. God put the Holy Spirit in each of us and saw that it was VERY good.

That's ridiculously cool to me...for a bunch of reasons.

First off....this, in my opinion, proves that we as christians NEED to be apart of social justice.

If the same divine spirit that lives in me lives in you, how can we be anything but equals??

If the same spirit that takes of residence inside me AND you, how can any gender, race, sexual orientation, social standing, economic standing, sin or good deed, be anything but equal?

We exist in a world were we all neatly and not so neatly, belong.

We were created with a purpose.

We were created to value and care for the people around us.

We were created to bring unique and valuable perspectives to our communities.

We were created to be holy and without fault.

But we are also human and make a lot of mistakes.

We(me) are selfish.

We(me) want to belong so we find any way to belong, even if it's not the right place.

We(me) get caught up in deciding who is deserving of goodness and mercy and when they deserve it.

Instead of looking at people the way Jesus see us, we(me) look at them through our own bias and prejudice and make assumptions about people and who they are.

We(me) seek to be understood but not to understand.

We(me) let fear and the unknown decide who people are, instead of honoring the divine in who they are.

Peace is possible. You are being lied to if you believe peace is unattainable.

When we honor the existence of the Holy Spirit in others we can be at peace with ourselves, the differences in opinions, and the unknown parts of who people are.

The cool thing about Jesus' life here on earth was not him going around telling everyone, "okay, you have to give up all your sin, and you have to change you life around completely, and you have to do x, y, and z...and then I will let you into the kingdom of heaven."

He said the kingdom of heaven is now.

If Hell is the absence of God then heaven is the presence. And he lives inside of us. So we can experience heaven RIGHT NOW.

His life here on earth looked like him going up to prostitutes and saying leave your past behind you and walk knowing you belong to the freedom I stand for.

He brought value and wholeness to those who felt they had none.

Not after he convinced them to change their ways.

But just as they were.

He saw their value before they saw their own.

There's a reason Jesus didn't hang out with the Pharisees, they didn't see the value in his creation.

They only saw the brokenness.

This is why we need feminism.

This is why we need black lives matter.

This is why we need to help refugees.

This is why the gay community belongs in the church.

So they can remind us of our value and wholeness in Christ and we can in turn remind them of theirs.

Namaste. The divine in me honors the divine in you.

Shalom. May you feel the wholeness of who you are through Jesus and all he has created you to be.

Peace. May you experience the restfulness that comes with belonging where God has put you.

Occasionally you eat an entire box of macaroni.

Alright confession....

Yesterday....I spent the whole day in bed. I had few things to do but nothing that was in dire need of being done.

But I had had homework to do, and reading to finish, and songs to practice and reading responses to write and monologues to memorize, and laundry to fold....

I folded laundry....

...While I watched friends....er...had friends on and stared at the ceiling....all....day...long...

I ate a sandwich for lunch....

...and them some mac and cheese for dinner.....okay fine! I ate the whole box! Are you happy?!

...and then I stared at the ceiling some more....I didn't even bother to push the "Are you still watching?" button when Netflix paused and knew I wasn't paying attention...

I just stared. I didn't want to think.

I didn't want to move.

I didn't want to do anything.

Because this is hard.

And I am not even close enough to being prepared or equipped enough to do this new stuff in life.

It is overwhelming.

It is frightening.

And you have all heard me say this before.

You have all heard me whine and complain that it's all too much and I can't do it, and I'm not worthy, and how will this work out, I mean I assume if you've known me for longer than a month on any surface you know all the insecurities that are in my brain.

I get in these moments where life is calling you to live it....and I just stare as it beckons me in.

It's like if I were the captain of a ship and the sea is calling to the captain, "come ride this storm, your ship was created to make it through" And the captain just stares at the sea and is unable to move or bark orders or hold the wheel...he just stares....the storm comes anyway but no one is moving because the captain is frozen.

I am the captain now.

Sorry...jokes.

But seriously.

What do I have to do to just unfreeze, look at the storm coming and say "come on."

I think a lot of these emotions are coming from missing everything that this summer entailed.

My summer was incredible friends.

I made some INCREDIBLE friends.

I saw some INCREDIBLE acts of love.

I have never experienced God's love so deeply and with such ease before in my whole life.

My heart aches everyday to be back in that place, and no one understands, and I can't explain it to make people understand.

It's just this hole in my heart that is unique to only me, and I can't explain it's depth, shape or how it got there.

The other reason I am having paralyzing fear is simply because I feel alone.

I am in a new place and I don't know how to adjust to it, and instead of relaxing and embracing the newness, and the adventure, I'm fighting it and trying to make it normal too fast.

In turn, making my identity and who I am in who Jesus is not.

Why do we get scared?

Because of the unknown.

Because of outside obstacles.

Because of things we can't control.

Because of failure.

Because of what other people think.

Because...I'm human and everything in this giant world is huge and out of my control.

Because I am a control freak and a procrastinating perfectionist with anxiety.

Because I can't let go.

I can't let go of my summer.

I can't let go of who I am.

I can't let go of anything.

I'm just holding it all, hopping that it will give me some form of worth and the reality is if I let the past go....I can do what I am supposed to do.

What am I supposed to do?

Who am I?

What am I made of?

Where am I going?

Wow. I know it took me a little bit to get to that conclusion. or lack there of really! Because I don't have to be anyone, I can just BE!

I can just exist in each moment and let the storm come, moving with each gust of wind, crashing wave and bolt of lightening.

I can be at peace, letting go of how I think everything needs to be or should be and just move as it is.

Moment by moment.

Seeing each occasion or obstacle as an opportunity to live in the moment and just BE.

I just want to live in the moment with authenticity, but not let fear take over so I become so consumed by the fear I can't live in the moment.

I want to let fear wake me up instead of shutting me down.

Denver. I am not afraid of you and all the mysteries you hold.

I am not afraid of auditions.

I am not afraid of class.

I am not afraid of succeeding.

I am afraid of living a life controlled by fear.